Whale

When I first came to the U.S., I tried to learn some English by watching some news. And I came across a clip of an elderly man and something about a secretary. I remember thinking, this is a true developed, progressive country. Here, regardless of age or gender, even an old man can work as a secretary, a less glamorous position, not just as an executive.

I slowly realized this, as it turned out, was not what was happening, as my vocabulary slowly expanded, as my fantasies about western society began to collapse one by one. Around the same time, I also discovered that Attorney General does not mean a lawyer who is generally good at law, as opposed to injury attorneys or family attorneys.

Seven years have passed, and it hasn’t just been my vocabulary or my understanding of society that has grown. What I have become fully comfortable with is scale.

After walking my dog every day, Fahrenheit now feels more intuitive than Celsius. At 18°C, I have to think for a while to about what to wear. At 65°F, I more or less know. It’s not that I can convert between the two effortlessly. I’ve simply developed a clearer intuition for Fahrenheit.

More interesting than acquiring a sense of new absolute units, however, is how the same scale can come to feel completely different.

In Korea, the legal speed limit on the largest highway in the country is 100km/h (about 60mph). In reality, because of traffic, you usually drive at 70-80 km/h, which is under 50mph. There is a New Order song called “60 Miles an Hour.” When I was younger, I assumed the number was either poetic or proof that British people were speed maniacs. Now I know 60mph is the speed where even trucks pass you on the interstate.

After three cross country drives, about 350 miles now feels like a distance that is very drivable. That’s roughly 560 kilometers, which is longer than the entire country of South Korea. Living in the U.S. is not always good, but I can’t deny that it has made me feel, in some quiet way, more expansive. Almost, at times, like a whale in the open ocean. Or, an anchovy in the same ocean.